What are you prepared to do?

In the movie The Untouchables Sean Connery's character has the best line of the entire film. Elliot Ness is trying to recruit him to help Ness send Al Capone to prison. Three times in the film Connery's character asks the question, "What are you prepared to do?" The final time he asked the question was just before he died after being gunned down by one of Capone's men.

He asks the question before agreeing to help Ness because he wants to know how far Ness is willing to go to put Capone away. Connery plays an Irish cop who isn't interested in being part of any half-hearted attempt to take on Capone's criminal empire. It's not until he is convinced that Ness is committed to doing whatever it takes that he agrees to join him in his effort.

The reason I enjoy this line so much is that it is a question that each of us must ask ourselves when we want to tackle something so big in our lives that there is a good chance we will fail. Too often we settle for living lives that lack adventure and substance. We settle for the mundane, the safe, the boring because we are afraid if we try to venture beyond that we will fail. How many people have wanted to start their own business but never found the courage to do so? How many wanted to further their education but didn't think they had what it took? How many wanted to have a rich, satisfying relationship with someone but was afraid of being hurt? Living our lives to the fullest requires risk, and many of us are afraid of risk.  It's only when we are willing to stretch ourselves that we can be the people we are called to be and experience all that life has to offer.

But as we think about doing that we need to pause and ask ourselves the question: What are we prepared to do? How far are we willing to do to realize our dreams? What are we willing to give up to gain what we want most out of life? John Maxwell says that we have to give up to go up. In other words, we have to be willing to sacrifice some things in order to achieve the things we want most. Jesus Christ challenged us to count the cost because there is always a cost to achieve the most out of life.

While sacrifice will be required, we must not sacrifice some things. Our integrity for one thing. Some people are willing to sacrifice their integrity in order to gain material things. They will lie, cheat, steal and do anything else to get what they want. That is too high a price to pay. So is sacrificing our families. How many people have thought they had it all only to look back to find out they had lost their family in the process? It's also not worth it to sacrifice our health in order to achieve the things we want in life. I think of the many famous performers whose lives were ruined by the drugs they used to keep performing. Certainly, we can never sacrifice our faith in our pursuit of whatever we want in life. Many have abandoned the faith of their childhood in order to live their dreams. If our dreams cause us to sacrifice our integrity, our families, our health and our faith those dreams will turn into nightmares. We will find we paid too high a price.

What are some of the things we will need to do in order to live a more fulfilling and meaningful life? If I may again quote John Maxwell, he often says that each of us has a choice. We can either pay now and play later, or we can play now and pay later. There is always a cost if we want to achieve more in life. We just have to decide when we want to pay it. He would say it's best to pay it early in life so as to be able to enjoy the fruits of your efforts later. I would agree.

This requires a dedicated focus on doing the things that will achieve what you want. While others are playing you are focused on doing the things necessary to achieve success in your chosen field. While others are going into debt to buy cars and homes they cannot afford, you are avoiding debt, living within your means, putting money into your retirement account and investments. If that sounds boring, just wait until your friends can't afford to retire while you have a few million in your retirement account. Then you can see who's bored. We can make similar comparisons about any area of life you want. When you focus on doing the right thing in those areas you may miss out on temporary pleasure at first, but you will reap the rewards of your discipline later.

It's very unlikely to will achieve the things you want most in life by accident. It will require dedicated focus on your part, a willingness to pay a price and a steadfast commitment to achieving your dreams. So, what are you prepared to do?

Choose to make a difference

King Duncan once wrote, “The Law of Influence says that we are making a difference – every day in hundreds of different ways – for better or for worse.”  He was right. Nearly every day we are doing something, either in our lives or in the lives of others, that make a difference. Hopefully, that difference is positive, not negative. We might not be aware we are making a difference. We may not even be aware that anyone is watching, but they are, and what they see influences them.

When I think of people who influenced me I have to think of my parents. I grew up the oldest of five children on dairy farms. I was driving tractors before my feet could even reach the brakes. I had to stand up to step on the brake. I was driving standard-shift pickup trucks in the field by the time I was nine or ten. I learned there was nothing wrong with hard work and making an honest living. I learned that neighbors helped neighbors. I learned that there was a time when a handshake meant more than contracts in triplicate. When my Mother became ill after a stroke I saw first-hand what marital commitment was by watching my Dad care for her for years. Much of what I am today is due to the lessons I learned from my parents.

Before I became a Christian I worked with a group of men on the assembly line who were not like most Christians I had known. During breaks and lunch they would study their Bibles together and talk about church and related things. I'll just say that was not how I spent my breaks and lunch and let it go at that. One day life began to close in around me. It was to these individuals I turned asking for help, and in time I became a Christian. Before that I doubt they knew how closely I had been watching them. What I saw convinced me I wanted what they had. They made a difference in my life.

My first pastor as an adult is the first person who asked me if I had ever thought God might be calling me into the ministry. I had, but I hadn't told anyone. Knowing how much I enjoyed reading and studying, one day he gave me a key to his church study and told me to use any time I wanted. Talk about an impact! He made a difference in my life.

For 53 years my wife and I have been married. A dozen books could not contain all the ways she has made a difference in my life over the years. She has shown me so much support and offered so much forgiveness that I couldn't begin to list the times. She has made an incredible difference in my life.

I have found that it is in the small things that we often make the biggest difference. We sometimes think that if we were wealthy or more influential we could have a greater impact, but we don't have to wait. Sometimes just to be willing to listen to someone is enough to make a difference in their lives. My wife has a passion for a particular charity and often said she wished we had the means to support it. One day it hit me; we could begin to support it with what we had. No one will ever name a building after us, but our regular small gifts can make a difference when they are added to the small gifts of others. Begin where you are, and you will make a difference.

I hope I've made a difference in people's lives. I think when we reach the end of our lives the only two things that will really matter is our decision to accept Jesus Christ as our Lord and Savior and the impact we've had on the lives of other people. Not many will talk about our wealth or position in life, but they will talk about how our life touched their lives. I pray that my life will have positively touched the lives of others.

Let me close with a funny story. A few weeks ago someone asked on Facebook who people checked to see if they were still around if they were ever afraid they had missed the rapture. A Facebook friend of mine responded that as a child, if he thought he had missed the rapture, he would sneak over to his neighbor's house, MINE, and peek in the living room window to see if I was there! I never knew that! I had to laugh when I read that, but at the same time I was deeply touched knowing that someone was watching me and my life was a witness to that individual.

You will make a difference in the lives of other people, either a positive one or a negative one. I encourage you to make the choice to make a positive difference on the lives of other people.

You don't have a problem

Somewhere I read a statement that has helped me more times than I can count. The statement was, "You don't have a problem, you have a decision to make." That is so often the truth. We get stuck worrying about problems when the reality is that we don't want to made a decision. We want somehow for the problem to go away without us having to make a tough decision, but it seldom works out that way. We remain stuck as long as we refuse to make the decision, and then we find out we have to make the decision anyway.

Like many of you this past Memorial Day weekend I watched some old military movies. One that I watched is also one of my favorites. As a Navy vet I enjoy watching Midway, a movie about how the US Navy defeated the Japanese Navy at Midway. Each side was deploying their best strategies, and the outcome was based on who had the best strategy, but it also depended on who made the best decisions. One of the scenes that jumped out at me in my latest viewing of this movie was when  Admiral Nimitz had to decide whether or not to send his remaining aircraft carriers to Midway or hold them back to protect Hawaii and the west coast of America. In the movie, he doesn't hesitate but orders them to Midway. Now, I don't know how historical this scene is, but what impressed me was his willingness to make a major decision and act upon it. Lesser individuals would have sat around and worried about a decision of this type.

No one wants to make a bad decision. I get that. But, we also can't allow problems to fester while we refuse to make a decision either.

If you find yourself  stuck worrying about a problem you may need someone to help you think through the best possible solution to the problem. I have found that often we already know what we need to do about the problems that worry us the most. It's that we don't want to make the hard decision to go ahead and resolve the problem. When we find ourselves in that situation, we need someone to help walk us through the problem so we can identify some possible solutions. That might be a spouse, a pastor, a friend, a coach, a consultant, a mentor or someone else you trust.

When I was working on my doctorate my project was to coach a number of pastors to determine if coaching could help them address some of the issues surrounding ministry. Six people were selected from across the US and each of them were given six coaching sessions over a three month period. They were allowed to identify the issue each coaching session would address. We were able to successfully resolve several of the issues they presented in that short period of time by focusing on solutions rather than the problem. As a coach, I helped them identify possible decisions they could make that would resolve the problem. We then identified intentional steps they would take. In some cases, problems that had been troubling them for extended periods of time were resolved within weeks. Each of them were required to write a short paper on the impact of the coaching they received on their lives and ministries which would be included in my thesis. All six of them stated that their coaching had been highly beneficial.

Perhaps you are struggling with a problem that has caused you a lot of stress and, maybe, some sleepless nights. If you think a coach could help you resolve that problem, feel free to contact me. I do charge a fee for my services, but you'll find that my fees are less than what many coaches charge. I ask for a three-month commitment to begin with as it takes that long to really establish a relationship between the coach and the person to be coached. There's no commitment required beyond the initial three months. The agreement can end there or can be extended if additional coaching will be helpful.

You don't have to live your life stuck. Your problems do not have to identify you or limit your future progress any longer. Many have found coaching to be helpful to move on in their lives. You may find that to be true for you as well.

Lifelong learning

While serving as a judicatory minister one of my fellow ministers told me one day he had never seen anyone more committed to lifelong learning that I was. I guess he may have been right. I've spent much of my life attending college and graduate schools and more seminars than I can remember. While many people go to college and even get advanced degrees, they do so in order to find employment. I was working full-time while earning every degree. I never attended one class in order to get a job. I attended those schools and earned those degrees to better myself, to grow personally so I could be more effective in the work I was already doing.

I sit here typing these words looking at the walls in my study lined with bookshelves that are filled to overflowing with books. Seven bookshelves in total that are literally overflowing with books, and that doesn't include the ones I've sold or given away over the years. They are another testimony to my commitment to continue learning as long as I live. I'm retired now, but I want to keep on learning and growing. So should you.

In case you haven't noticed, the job market in the US is rapidly changing. Some 20 million jobs are lost or restructured every year. Some tell us that the typical individual entering the job market today can expect to have about 11 different full-time jobs in his or her working lifetime. To believe you can get a degree in some field and spend the rest of your life working using the knowledge you gained during your four years in college is a fantasy. Even if you kept doing the work you were trained to do, it will change many times during your working career. As I often say, job security is gone. The best we can hope for is employment security, and that requires one to be flexible and knowledgeable.

Lifelong learning is a critical component for employment security. The more you know, the more skills you've mastered, the more likely it will be that you can find a job if the one you have now disappears. This doesn't mean you have to spend years in formal education. You can gain a lot of knowledge by attending seminars and conferences, asking questions of successful people in fields in which you are interested, by reading good books, and being inquisitive. You may be surprised at how something you learn at some event that has nothing to do with your current career can come in handy down the road.

I grew up on dairy farms. We raised corn and soybeans, baled hay, and raised tobacco in addition to milking cows twice a day. It's been many years since I plowed a field and even longer since I milked a cow, but I still use things I learned back then as a kid. I learned the value of hard work, the importance of refusing to quit when things got difficult, and the importance of being a person of my word. I use what I learned back then nearly every day of my life.

The average American will read four books a year and studies determined that 25 percent of Americans did not read even one book in 2017. I wonder how much they are learning and how prepared they will be when they are forced to seek other employment. Mark Cuban reads for three hours every day. Warren Buffett spends about 80 percent of his days reading. Bill Gates reads an average of 50 books a year. None of these billionaires has to read another book the rest of their lives. But they do because each of them are committed to being a life-long learner. They choose to read because they have chosen to continue to grow.

Each of should make the same choice.

Reducing the stress in your life

Before looking at how we can reduce stress in our lives, let's first recognize that some stress is good. Stress is what gets us out of bed in the morning to go to work. When we feel stressed about our finances that can be the catalyst to force us to begin making better financial decisions. The same is true with our health. When stress causes us to make positive changes in our lives and doesn't last too long, that's a good thing. Good stress is called eustress, and we need a certain measure of that in our lives to help us function properly.

However, much of the stress in our lives is not positive. That negative stress can lead to physical and emotional problems and can greatly limit our ability to function if not addressed. This kind of stress comes when we feel annoyed, threatened, frightened, worried, angered, challenged or frustrated. Much of our stress comes from our own minds. That's what makes dealing with stress so difficult: much of it can't be acted upon because they only exist in our minds. It's the way we think about things that brings about the stress.

Obviously, in a blog post we can't cover everything we can do to reduce the stress in our lives. The best book I have in my library that addresses stress is Norman Wright's book Success over Stress: 12 Ways to Take Back Your Life. I will give you some tips to get you started.

Some say the best way to reduce stress in your life is to turn off the evening news. I think there's a lot of truth in that! The media is focused on reporting the negative events of the day. Just think...there are literally thousands of stories every day they could report on, but they choose the negative ones that fit their particular biases. If you listen to and believe everything they say, you will get stress overload.

There's a principle behind that suggestion though that we do not want to miss. To reduce stress we have to filter what goes into our thinking. Garbage-in, garbage-out is the computer term. If we consistently take in negative information and allow negative thoughts to dominate we will be stressed. We have to be careful about the media we watch, the books we read, the friends we listen to and the things we say to ourselves if we want to reduce stress.

Another important step is to reevaluate how you measure success. A lot of people are stressed over what they perceive to be a lack of success in their lives. Some very successful people believe they don't measure up. They compare themselves to others and wonder why they don't have what other people have in life. You are not Superman or Superwoman. You are the person God created you to be. Embrace that.

Take control of your life. If you want to reduce stress, you must control your calendar, your computer, your time, your phone. You may have obligations to an employer in how you use your time and these other items, but you do not have to be a slave to them. It's OK to not answer the phone when you are having family dinner. Voice mail will take care of that. It's OK to not respond to something on social media when you read something you disagree with. It's OK to just check email a couple of times a day. If you do not take control of your life, others will, and they will not have the same priorities for your life that you do.

Learn to say no. It's an easy word to pronounce, and it is a complete sentence. You are seldom under any obligation to explain your no to anyone. You may want to stand in front of a mirror each morning and practice saying no. You'll be surprised at how much stress learning that one word will eliminate.

Reducing stress in our lives is a choice each of us must make if we want to live healthier, more productive lives. It can be done if we choose to do so.

No decision is a decision

Being a leader, whether in business, politics, military, church, or in a family, requires people to make decisions. A business leader might have to decide whether or not to pursue a new product line not knowing if it will be successful or not. A politician often has to make difficult decisions that will do the most good for the most people. Military leaders, especially in times of war, have to make tough decisions about sending people into harm's way. Church leaders are often faced with difficult decisions that will affect their congregations. Family leaders have to make choices nearly every day about what will be best for the their family. The very nature of leadership is decision making.

There is a difference between being a leader and being in a leadership position. Leaders are not afraid to make a decision. It may not always prove to have been the best decision, but they will make a decision and act on it. Those merely in leadership positions will avoid making decisions as much as possible. The process frightens them. They might be wrong. Bad things might happen, and they will be blamed. So they settle for the status quo. They won't make a decision but let things play out on their own.

Unfortunately, not making a decision is making a decision. Sitting on the fence is making a decision. It is a decision to do nothing, to remain stuck in the status quo. It is to decide to remain in the rut in which you find yourself. I often like to remind people that a rut is nothing more than a grave with both ends kicked out. Organizations die in ruts. So do families. So do individuals. To live in a rut is not living; it is existing in an endless downward spiral.

Some people pursue leadership positions without the ability to actually provide leadership. They are managers. Now, there is nothing wrong with managers, except when a leader is needed. Managers make sure things are done correctly; leaders make sure the right things are done. Big difference. Managers spend time assessing which way the winds of popular opinion is blowing (like most politicians) while leaders are focused on leading the organization in the right path regardless of popular opinion.

Managers seldom have to make decisions, and the ones they do make are predetermined in the policy manual. They just have to follow instructions. Leaders often operate in uncharted waters. Our current pandemic is good evidence of this. We have faced things in recent weeks than no one living today had faced before. Decisions had to be made, often with inadequate and even incorrect information, and made quickly. It was easy to criticize the decisions after they were made, but the critics were not the ones who had to make the decisions. It's a lot easier to be an armchair quarterback than to be in the game.

If you are in a leadership position you have no choice but to made difficult decisions. You have to learn to live with those decisions, even the ones that later prove to have been wrong. The people in your organization and in your family depend on you to make decisions. If you cannot do so, you need to remove yourself from leadership. Let someone who can lead step into that role while you find one more suited for your personality and giftedness.

Focus on changing one thing

When I was a pastor a young mother came to be with numerous problems that were causing a lot of difficulty. She described some of them to me and admitted she often felt overwhelmed by all the negative things that were going on in her life. She was confused about how to do anything to change her situation.

I asked her if she ever watched Star Wars movies. She admitted she did. I asked if she remembered when a ship would jump into hyperspace and how the movie would show all the stars flying past them at high rates of speed. She remembered that. I asked if that was how her problems seemed to her, that they were all flying towards her at one time, and as she tried to deal with them she felt overwhelmed. She stared at me and responded that was exactly how she felt. I explained that is why she felt so overwhelmed. It was impossible to deal with each of them at the same time. What she needed to do was to address one of them and deal with it before she moved on to another one.

This week I’ve talked about choices and the need we sometimes have to make different choices to improve our lives. But, what do we do if there are many areas in our life that are causing us problems. We have to do what I explained to that mother. We have to take one at a time and put our primary focus on making choices that will improve that aspect of our lives.

You may wonder how we know which one to address first. There are two schools of thought. One is to deal with the one that seems easiest to resolve. Success in that area of your life will give you a sense of accomplishment and motivation to attack other areas. The second approach is to deal with the one that will give you the greatest overall success. Which one of your problems, if you resolved it, would provide you with the greatest benefit? Perhaps that is the one with which to be begin.

I can’t tell you which approach to take because I don’t know your situation. You do, so this is a decision you need to make for yourself. You may want to bring in other persons you trust to help you make that decision. That might be a friend, your minister, a counselor or a coach. As I have shared in this blog before, I have coached a number of people who were dealing with issues in their lives. If you think I might be able to help you sort through this, I do have room for a few coaching clients.

What you don’t want to do is to allow your problems to keep attacking you and doing nothing about it. That choice won’t make the positive changes in your life that you are seeking. Choose to do nothing, and those problems will only get worse. Choose to make the necessary changes to eliminate those problems, and your life will improve in that area. Remember . . .choices have consequences.

The need to forgive

One of the most important decisions that any of us can make is to choose to forgive someone who has harmed us. It's also one of the hardest decisions many of us will have to make. Forgiving those who have hurt us deeply is never easy. Even to suggest doing so brings up a host of painful memories and triggers a lot of negative emotions. That in itself is enough to indicate how important it is that we forgive.

Medical science tells us that unforgiveness can cause a lot of problems. It can raise our blood pressure and lower our immune system. Unforgiveness can elevate our heart rate and increase the risk of depression, heart disease and diabetes.  When we refuse to forgive it can increase our anxiety levels and cause us to lose sleep. It can cause digestive issues. Research also finds that these issues can worsen as we get older. Someone has said that refusing to forgive someone is like drinking poison thinking it will kill the other person. Chances are, your unforgiveness won't bother the other person at all, but it can cause you a lot of serious consequences.

You may argue that the individual doesn't deserve forgiveness, and you may be right. Many people have been deeply hurt by those they trusted. It may well be that they don't deserve to be forgiven, but your unwillingness to forgive them is allowing them to hurt you again. You are giving them power over your life once again. You are enabling them to destroy your health and well-being. They are still in charge of your life, and you can not experience the future you could because the past continues to hold you captive.

As a Christian I am reminded of how much God has forgiven me. I am further reminded of the scripture that tells us that if we are not willing to forgive others, God won't forgive us. I know what my life was like before I invited Jesus Christ into my life, and I know He was willing to forgive me of much. How can I not forgive others when they have hurt me?

Perhaps you are not a person of faith. You need to forgive anyway. The problems listed above is sufficient reason to forgive. Who wants to do that much damage to themselves by refusing to forgive someone?

How does a person forgive? Dr. Karen Swartz from the John Hopkins Hospital says “It is an active process in which you make a conscious decision to let go of negative feelings whether the person deserves it or not.” We choose to forgive so we can move on with our lives.

It's important to talk about our decision to forgive. That may or not be with the one you are forgiving. If that person is no longer around or is not a safe person to talk to, you may want to talk about this with a counselor, a pastor, a spouse or a close friend. Hearing yourself verbalize your forgiveness helps settle it in your mind and heart.

What about forgive and forget? The reality is that you are not likely to ever forget the wrong that was done for you. Sometimes when you forgive you may be able to rebuild a relationship with that person. With others, it's best to avoid them especially if they are dangerous or toxic.  In either case, you probably won't forget what has occurred in the past, but because you have chosen to forgive, you have released the past so it can't hurt you any more. Now, you are ready for your future.

Choose your response to difficult times

When things happen to us we have two options. We can choose to react to them, or we can choose to respond to them. You may think there is no difference between the two choices, but there is a big difference. If your doctor gives you a prescription and tells you to come back in a week, and when you go back you complain about the side effects, the doctor will say you have had a reaction to the medicine and change the medication But, if you go back and you are feeling better the doctor will say you are responding well to the medication. Reacting is bad; responding is good.

Well-known minister, Chuck Swindoll, wrote that the longer he lived the more he realized the impact attitude has on our lives. He said he was convinced that life is 10 percent of what happens to us and 90 percent of how we respond to it. The key, he wrote, is that we are in charge of our attitudes.

In concentration camp survivor Viktor Frankl's amazing book Man's Search for Meaning, he told of the men in the housing units who went around comforting others and sharing their last pieces of bread. These individuals taught Frankl that "everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms - to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one's own way."

We cannot control everything that comes into our lives. Every one of us will experience difficult challenges at various times. Right now, for some, it's financial challenges as they suddenly lost their jobs, and, perhaps, their employer decided not to reopen. For others, it's health issues. It might be family or relational problems. For many recent graduates, they are facing a tough job market and wonder how they will find employment.

These are tough challenges with no quick and easy solutions in many cases. While it might take time to resolve the problem, one thing we can do immediately is decide what our attitude will be towards the problem. We can let it get us down and give up, or we can decide to work towards a solution and overcome it. Swindoll is right. Our attitude makes all the difference in the world, and we can always choose our attitude.

I have to admit that I've not always taken the positive approach to my problems. My personality type is such that I can fall into the gloom-and-doom perspective rather easily. I can get down on myself and want to give up at times. That means I have to work extra hard at maintaining a positive approach, but when I do that things seem to go much better. Problems gets resolved faster, and there's a lot less wear and tear.

Choosing to stay positive in a negative situation isn't easy, but it is possible. The next time a problem crops up will you react to it or respond to it? The choice is yours.

Thinking for yourself

Someone commented recently that the problem today isn't that Johnny can't read; it's that Johnny doesn't know how to think. Unfortunately, this isn't limited to young people leaving school. We see it throughout our society. People are unable to think for themselves, to gather information and make informed decisions without having to have some talking head on TV telling them what to believe.

One of the most entertaining features (at least, to me) on Jay Leno's Tonight show was his man-on-the-street interviews. He would stop people and ask them questions about current events. Few of the people he asked answered correctly. He would show them pictures of well-known leaders in the country, and they often didn't know who they were. Of course, they could name all the Kardashians or pop stars, but they were completely unaware of the people or issues who had the greatest impact on their lives.

During recent protests people were asked why they were protesting. Many of them didn't know. They were told to show up, probably paid money to be there, and began yelling whatever script they were given. Others were given quotes that were supposedly made by certain politicians and asked their opinion. They readily agreed with the quote. Only then were they told the quote came from a politician they didn't support.

We turn on the news each night to hear the stations version of various stories. Many who watch accept these versions as truth without ever confirming the information for themselves. We hear a lot about fake news today, and much of it is true. Only, fake news isn't new at all. James Fallows is a former editor of the U. S. News and World Report and writes for numerous major news magazines. For two years he was the chief speech writer for President Jimmy Carter. He has spent a lifetime in the media.

In 1997 he wrote Breaking The News: How the Media Undermine American Democracy. He explained how the media doesn't report the news; it makes the news. It does so by deciding which, of all the possible stories it could cover, it would focus on and how the story would be spun. Fallows complains that rather than doing detailed stories on important topics, the media spends a few minutes on each story presenting speakers who give the story the right amount of spin. As he writes, "Journalists] inescapably change the reality of whatever they are observing by whether and how they choose to write about it." It is a fascinating book because it comes from one on the inside who has been a major player in the media.

But, for many people, what they hear in a 30-second soundbite is all they know about an event and assume the reporter must be correct in his or her assessment. That becomes their perspective as well. So we have people going around parroting whatever their favorite news person says or writes without spending one minute thinking about the matter for themselves.

This is one reason our nation is in the trouble it's in. We let other people, who have agendas, do our thinking for us. God gave us a mind. Let's use it! Rather than automatically taking the perspective of our political party or the news person we watch or what someone tells us we ought to believe, let's begin to think for ourselves. Let's begin to form our own opinions based upon actual facts.

I wonder what our nation would look like if people chose to think for themselves. I would really like to know.

Financial choices

One thing the coronavirus has taught us is that many people didn't learn from the 2008 recession about personal financial management. Before you think I'm being insensitive or critical you need to know that in 2008 I owned a small business that closed. For about a year prior to 2008 we were losing money, but when everything crashed, so did our business. At the time I felt like we would be bankrupt before it was over. Fortunately, that did not happen.

One thing that did happen was that I was determined to never again be in that position. For much of our lives we lived paycheck-to-paycheck. Sometimes we ran out of money before we ran out of month. Living like that usually leads to deeper debt which means you are digging a deeper hole that is even tougher to escape.

I had a job that required a lot of driving so I began to download podcasts to my I-Pod to listen to while on the road. One of the podcasts I listened to was Dave Ramsey's on financial management. I have listened to thousands of hours of his podcasts since that time. After a while I knew what he was going to tell those who called in to his show with their financial questions before he told them. But, knowledge is of no value unless you put it into practice. We decided to do just that.

Ramsey's management plan follows what he calls Baby Steps. I won't go into detail about what each of the steps are due to space limitations. If finances are a problem for you I highly recommend his book The Total Money Makeover: Classic Edition: A Proven Plan for Financial Fitness. This book takes the reader through his steps for getting out of debt, building an emergency fund, paying for children's college and saving for retirement. I can tell you it works.

When this pandemic hit, businesses shut down and millions of people were out of work overnight. Immediately, the news was filled with people who didn't know how they were going to pay their bills, put food on the table and meet their basic financial needs. This told me that none of these people had any kind of emergency fund set aside for times like this.  One study earlier this year, before the pandemic hit, found that 70% of the people surveyed couldn't pay their bills if they missed one paycheck, and 44% reported that if they missed one paycheck they could not afford their housing. Again, I am not being critical. I've been there.

We choose how we are going to handle our personal finances. Some of us may have more or less finances to handle, but we still choose how we will handle what we have. When we go into debt to buy something, it is a choice we've made. When we spend all our money to have the latest phone it's because we chose to. When we take out a seven-year loan to buy a car we can't afford it's because we chose to do that. When we spend more than we bring in and have nothing in savings or retirement, again it was a choice we made. Then when something like this pandemic or a market crash happens we panic because we have nothing saved.

I've been writing about the consequences of our choices. This pandemic has shown us once again the consequences of living beyond our means and not saving anything. Many of us really need to look at the financial choices we've been making and decide if we need to start doing something different.

You are shaped by two things.

Charles "Tremendous" Jones was a well known motivational speaker. One of his best known quotes was “You will be the same person in five years as you are today except for two things, the people you meet and the books you read.” There is a lot of truth in those words.

We are shaped by the books we read. Unfortunately, the average American reads about four books a year, and many of them are for entertainment, not for personal growth. That's the average which means some read even less! Compare that to the reading habits of some of America's most successful people.

• When Warren Buffett started his investment career he read 600-1000 pages a day and still spends about 80 percent of each day reading. When asked about the keys to success he replied that people need to read 500 pages a day to be successful.
• Mark Cuban reads about three hours a day to stay current on changes in business and technology.
• Bill Gates reads approximately 50 books a year. He never goes anywhere without a book to read when he has a few minutes.
• Believe it or not, Elon Musk learned how to build rockets through reading.
• Tony Robbins had a difficult childhood and poured himself into reading. He read 700 books in seven years that focused on anything that could improve one's life.

Someone reading this might argue that they don't have time to read 500 pages a day. I understand that. But, we need to remember that these people were not billionaires when they began their reading habits. They were just starting out trying to make their mark in the world. They had very little extra time to read, but they also realized that they needed to increase their knowledge if they wanted to succeed. They invested in themselves.

My goal is to read one book a week. Most of these have been non-fiction. I focus much of my reading on books about leadership, personal growth, theology and ministry. With the shelter-in-place in effect, I will, at a minimum, double the number of books I normally read in a year.

Maybe reading isn't easy for you or you are someone who just doesn't enjoy reading. No problem. With books on audio, many available for free from your library, and podcasts you can listen to the books that will help you grow and become more successful.

The second thing he mentioned was the people we meet. I like to spend as much time as possible with positive, upbeat people. These are the people who lift you up every time you are around them. They believe in you which helps you believe in yourself. I avoid toxic people as much as possible. These are the ones who are going nowhere with their lives and don't want anyone else to accomplish anything either.

When I am with people in this second group as a part of ministry, it is to help encourage them, build them up to where they can see their potential. I want them to begin to see new possibilities that can be theirs if they begin to make better choices in their lives. What I don't allow them to do is to discourage me or pull me into their negativity.

It's important to meet people who have been where you want to go in life. They've walked where you want to walk, and they know where the dangers lie. Many of them are willing to pass on what they've learned, if they sense you really want to learn.

If you want to enjoy success in every area of your life, it's important that you choose to spend time reading good books that will point you in the right direction. It's equally important that you choose relationships that will be positive and uplifting for each of you. These choices have significant consequences attached to them.

How can you stay employable?

I've done something that not many people entering the work force today will do. I worked 30 years for the same company before retiring. In fact, our company had a 30-and-out early retirement program, and I retired from there at 47 years of age. Very few will have the opportunity to work that long for any one company. In fact, we are told that people starting their careers today will average 11 different full-time jobs lasting two years or more, and that they will find themselves working in at least five different careers during their working life. There is no such thing today as job security. What we need to strive for in today's world is employment security.

As we come out of this pandemic, many businesses will not reopen. Their employees will need to find new jobs. This is not their fault; they did nothing wrong. But, it does demonstrate how tenuous our jobs are. No matter how good we were at our work, that job can be gone tomorrow. It might be that the business had financial problems. Your company might have been bought out by another company who already had people to do your job. Your job might have been replaced by robots. Any number of things can happen to cause your job to go away. How do you stay employable?

The first thing is to always understand that you are self-employed. You may have a boss who signs your check, but you are self-employed. You work for You, Inc. The most important person you will report to each day is yourself. You have only one employee, and he or she strives every day to do the very best work possible. You continually invest in that employee to make sure he or she is ready for any challenges that might come. I was talking with someone the other day about her job, and she told me she never worried about losing a job. She knew she would find another one quickly, and her attitude convinced me she was right. She worked for You, Inc., and she knew she was employable regardless of what might happen.

You have to continually increase your skills. Always remember: What got you here won't keep you here. If you are not continually growing personally and professionally you will get run over one day. It's critical that you are on the cutting edge of your profession learning as much as you can. Read. Attend conferences that will increase your skills. Cross train when possible so you can perform more tasks within your company.

Don't just increase your skills within your current job. Stretch yourself. Stay inquisitive about things. Learn about things outside your profession. This will help you watch for trends in the workplace and give you insights into other careers.

Maintain an outstanding work ethic. Arrive early and stay late. Be willing to take on new challenges. Don't settle for good enough, but strive for excellence in everything you do.

Network. This is more than passing out 100 business cards every week. Build relationships with people. Zig Ziglar used to say that if you helped enough other people get what they want, you will be able to get anything you want. Make it a goal to impress everyone you come in contact with because one day you may want to ask them to help you get a new job. I'm not talking about creating a false impression, but impress them with your personality, your work ethic and your genuine concern for other people.

Finally, stay flexible. Remember, you may be looking at five different careers in different fields. Just because you are an accountant today doesn't mean you will be one five years from now. This is why you need to stretch yourself.

Few people will enjoy job security in the 21st century, but each of us can have employment security if we follow these steps. There is always a job for the person who is prepared.

What do you want most?

In the Pirates of the Caribbeans movie series Captain Jack Sparrow had a magical compass that did not point north. Instead, it pointed to the thing one wanted most. Once the owner of the compass settled in on the thing he or she wanted most, the compass would point in the direction where it would be found.

While none of us has such a magical compass, we do well by having our lives focused on those things we want most out of life. One of the reasons many of us do not have more of what we want is that we allow our lives to be pulled into too many directions, without focus, that keeps us from gaining the things we really want. When we drift through life hoping that the things we want will come our way, they seldom do. It's only when we are focused on those things we want most are we apt to achieve them.

Several years ago a vendor with whom a company I owned did business had a meeting with one of their most successful dealers as the special speaker. He was there to teach us how we could build up our businesses to be as successful as his. I thought he was pretty full of himself, but he was giving some good suggestions which I felt were worthy of trying in my own business. He stressed the level of dedication that was required to enjoy the level of success he experienced and made a point of mentioning some of the nice things he owned as a result of that dedication and hard work. However, it was when he mentioned that he was in his third marriage that he lost me. The way in which he said it sounded to me like it was just the price one had to pay for success, and that was a price I was not willing to pay.

Last year my wife and I celebrated our 53rd anniversary. I wouldn't trade any of those years for all toys he had accumulated or the success he had achieved. Everyone has to know what is the most important thing they want out of life and then pursue it with a passion. I want to be successful in the things I do but not at the cost of losing my family or compromising my values.

Several years ago I read a book that really helped me put this in perspective. The book was Margin: Restoring Emotional, Physical, Financial, and Time Reserves to Overloaded Lives by Dr. Richard Swenson. In the book he talked about how easy it is to get our lives out of balance due to all the demands on our time. He also wrote about some of the dangers of living life out of balance, some of which I had already experienced. One of the things I realized from reading the book was I had to know what were the most important things to me and how to set boundaries and priorities in my life to ensure that I experienced them. From that point forward it became a matter of discipline and focus. Like Sparrow's compass, that focus would take me to the thing I most desired.

It is a choice, isn't it? Every day we decide how we are going to spend that day. If we spend it doing things that really don't add much value to our lives, we might be busy, but we won't be focused on the things that are most important to us. Choose wisely how you use every day you are given.

How focused is your life? Would you say there is a healthy balance in your life, or is your life out of control, constantly being pulled away from the things you want most? Have you ever thought about what is most important in your life, and have you ordered your life so you can experience them?

Welcome

I want to welcome you to our new blog Choices.

Each of us have the incredible freedom to make just about any choice we want in our lives. We have the ability to choose the person we want to marry, if we want to marry, to work in the career of our choice, to have children or not, to be persons of faith or not, to choose where we want to live among other things. In fact, in just about every area of our lives we are allowed to make choices. However, what we are not allowed to do is to avoid the consequences of those choices. Every choice has consequences. As I like to say, we make our choices and our choices make us.

For 20 years I served as the pastor of a small church. For 14 years after that I was a judicatory minister with responsibility for over 130 churches before I retired. My ministry allowed me to see how people's choices impacted their lives. Sometimes, people made poor choices that had a negative impact on their lives. Some of those individuals were repeat offenders. They just kept making bad choices until their lives were much different than what they wanted. Yet, in too many cases, they did not know how to turn their lives around.

I also knew many people who often made good choices in their lives. Those good choices produced positive results for them. Their lives were much better than those who consistently made poor choices. But, one thing we never want to lose sight of is that our lives can always improve, no matter how good it is today. As we learn to make even better choices in the future, our lives will continue to reflect those good choices.

I had the privilege of hearing one of the greatest motivational speakers of all time, Zig Ziglar, speak several times. He would often begin his message by asking the audience some questions. He would ask, "How many of you believe that regardless of how bad your personal, family, and business lives are at this moment there are still some things you could do that would make them even worse?" That generally got a laugh from the crowd. He would follow that question by asking, "How many of you believe that regardless of how good your personal, family, and business lives are there are still some things you could do to improve them?" After giving the audience a few moments to think about his questions, he would say "If you honestly do believe there is something you can do to make your life better or your life worse, you have reached a profound conclusion. It's this: I don't care how bad my life is, I don't care how good my life is, there is something I can do to change it - and the choice is mine."

This blog is dedicated to helping people make better choices in their lives. As a retired minister, I still have a passion to see people live their lives to their fullest potential. Every Sunday I would share messages designed to do just that. In this blog I want to do the same thing.

We will address just about every aspect of our lives, point out mistakes that people sometimes make, and offer better choices for your consideration. We will address important topics such as marriage, raising children, personal finance, business and career choices, pursuing success, job security and a host of other subjects that affect us all.

I hope you will want to follow this page and check out all the articles. Be sure to click on the blue FOLLOW box on the right side. If you add your email address, you will receive an email whenever a new post is added. I sincerely believe they can help you live your best life. I also invite you to share these articles with others. Encourage them to follow this blog as well. Making choices in life is inevitable. We should each strive to make the best ones we can.