The choices we make, make us

Everyday we make numerous choices about what we will do and how we will act. But, one psychologist believes "that only about 5 percent of what we do in a given day is the outcome of conscious, deliberate choices we make, processed by that snowball on the tip of the iceberg that is human consciousness. The rest of our actions and behaviors are managed below the surface, by all sorts of learned yet now unconscious ways of intending and navigating the world...Aristotle called them 'second nature': because these are ways that we move in the world without thinking about it." This information comes from an excellent book titled You Are What You Love: The Spiritual Power of Habit by James K. A. Smith.

Earlier in the book Smith quotes another individual who tells us, "Your deepest desire...is the one manifested by your daily life and habits." Smith writes that "This is because our action - our doing - bubbles up from our loves, which, as we've observed, are habits we've acquired through the practices we're immersed in."

Most of the time, when we are confronted with choices to make we will make the ones that bring us the most satisfaction, the most pleasure, the most enjoyment, and we will continue making that choice for the same reasons. Eventually, we no longer have to make a conscious choice about the matter. That choice has become a habit that we now do without giving it much thought. That habit can then begin to control us and shape us into the person we become. This can be either a good thing or a bad thing.

Few, if any, drug addicts woke up one morning and decided to destroy their lives by becoming addicted to drugs. Someone offered them a drug, and they chose to consume it. As they continued to make the decision to use drugs one day they didn't have to make the decision any more. It was made for them the moment they woke up and their body began to cry out for the drug. The same thing occurs any time someone becomes addicted to a substance or a behavior. Perhaps millions of people are as addicted to their electronics and social media as a coke addict is addicted to cocaine.

On the other hand, one can choose to be a person filled with a positive outlook on life. Such a person radiates positive energy towards everyone he or she meets. This person maintains a positive outlook on life. These are choices a person can make, and as this choice is made consistently over time it eventually shapes the person into someone who is generally positive and upbeat about life.

Since our choices can make us into the person we become we need to be very careful about the choices we make. It is equally important to be careful about the people with whom we associate. It's very difficult to consistently make positive choices if we are hanging around with those who are not as careful about the choices they make.

I encourage you to first identify the person you want to be and then determine the choices you need to make to become that person. This will not happen overnight, but eventually the choices you make will make you into the person you will become.

Embrace your future

Several years ago I used to attend motivational conferences that often featured Zig Ziglar. In my opinion, he was the master motivator. I have several of his books in my library and used to own a series of cassette tapes he had on goal setting. One of my favorite Ziglar quotes is that we have to make peace with our past and make friends with our present so we can prepare for our future. I've shared that message in many sermons and conferences I've led because I know it is so true.

As a pastor I met many people who were held in the grip of their past. In some cases, they had experienced much abuse and pain growing up and even in their early adult years. Their past held them captive as much as if they were in a prison. Some had given up. Any present difficulties in their lives were blamed on their past. They always had a reason why they could not escape their past experiences. It is very hard to help people with that mindset.

Equally challenging are those people who believe their current situation is the best it will ever be. Perhaps they are doing very well and believe it can't get any better. On the flip side are those whose current situation isn't very good but believe the same: it won't get any better.

To the first group who are doing well I would remind them that things can change rapidly. People used to tell us that "If it ain't broke, don't fix it." In other words, leave things alone that are working. I would challenge that. I think a better plan is, "If it ain't broke, break it. It will be obsolete soon anyway."

Look at what happened to Sears, J C Penney and many other brick-and-mortar stores. They are failing, or gone out of business, because they refused to recognize a new business model was making their model obsolete. The same thing happened to Kodak when digital cameras took over the market and to the Swiss watch makers when they failed to recognize that quartz watches would take over that market. Today those companies are under even more pressure due to the popularity of Apple watches. In 2019 Apple sold more watches than all the Swiss companies combined.

What is true in the business world is also true in our personal lives. Entire jobs are disappearing and being replaced by new ones. It is likely that people entering the job market today will one day be doing jobs that didn't even exist when they began their careers. Fund managers regularly switch investments for their clients into new ones that will outperform their old investments. Change occurs in every area of our lives. These changes often occur rapidly making it important that we remain flexible.

To the second group, it's important to not believe that where you are today in your life is where you have to stay. As I wrote yesterday, you don't have to remain stuck where you are. The information from reading one book, one phone call, taking one class, one more interview can change your life. It's important that you don't give up and believe you have to accept being stuck. You don't!

Ziglar's words are true for both groups. Make peace with your past no matter if it was good or bad. You can't change the past so accept it for what it was and move on. Make friends with your present. It's where you live right now, but whether its good or bad, don't make it your permanent dwelling. Prepare for the future because that's where you are going. Embrace it and take the steps necessary to make it the best possible life for yourself and those you care about.