You don't have a problem

Somewhere I read a statement that has helped me more times than I can count. The statement was, "You don't have a problem, you have a decision to make." That is so often the truth. We get stuck worrying about problems when the reality is that we don't want to made a decision. We want somehow for the problem to go away without us having to make a tough decision, but it seldom works out that way. We remain stuck as long as we refuse to make the decision, and then we find out we have to make the decision anyway.

Like many of you this past Memorial Day weekend I watched some old military movies. One that I watched is also one of my favorites. As a Navy vet I enjoy watching Midway, a movie about how the US Navy defeated the Japanese Navy at Midway. Each side was deploying their best strategies, and the outcome was based on who had the best strategy, but it also depended on who made the best decisions. One of the scenes that jumped out at me in my latest viewing of this movie was when  Admiral Nimitz had to decide whether or not to send his remaining aircraft carriers to Midway or hold them back to protect Hawaii and the west coast of America. In the movie, he doesn't hesitate but orders them to Midway. Now, I don't know how historical this scene is, but what impressed me was his willingness to make a major decision and act upon it. Lesser individuals would have sat around and worried about a decision of this type.

No one wants to make a bad decision. I get that. But, we also can't allow problems to fester while we refuse to make a decision either.

If you find yourself  stuck worrying about a problem you may need someone to help you think through the best possible solution to the problem. I have found that often we already know what we need to do about the problems that worry us the most. It's that we don't want to make the hard decision to go ahead and resolve the problem. When we find ourselves in that situation, we need someone to help walk us through the problem so we can identify some possible solutions. That might be a spouse, a pastor, a friend, a coach, a consultant, a mentor or someone else you trust.

When I was working on my doctorate my project was to coach a number of pastors to determine if coaching could help them address some of the issues surrounding ministry. Six people were selected from across the US and each of them were given six coaching sessions over a three month period. They were allowed to identify the issue each coaching session would address. We were able to successfully resolve several of the issues they presented in that short period of time by focusing on solutions rather than the problem. As a coach, I helped them identify possible decisions they could make that would resolve the problem. We then identified intentional steps they would take. In some cases, problems that had been troubling them for extended periods of time were resolved within weeks. Each of them were required to write a short paper on the impact of the coaching they received on their lives and ministries which would be included in my thesis. All six of them stated that their coaching had been highly beneficial.

Perhaps you are struggling with a problem that has caused you a lot of stress and, maybe, some sleepless nights. If you think a coach could help you resolve that problem, feel free to contact me. I do charge a fee for my services, but you'll find that my fees are less than what many coaches charge. I ask for a three-month commitment to begin with as it takes that long to really establish a relationship between the coach and the person to be coached. There's no commitment required beyond the initial three months. The agreement can end there or can be extended if additional coaching will be helpful.

You don't have to live your life stuck. Your problems do not have to identify you or limit your future progress any longer. Many have found coaching to be helpful to move on in their lives. You may find that to be true for you as well.