Surviving dark times

Everyone goes through dark times during their lives. It's not a matter of if you will encounter a tough period in your life; it's a matter of when. Everyone gets blindsided at one time or another. It only makes sense that we find a way to survive such times and come through them strong.  Viktor Frankl how to do this in his book Man's Search for Meaning when he wrote, “When we are no longer able to change a situation…we are challenged to change ourselves.” So what can we do to survive dark times?

It's important to talk to other people about what we are going through. Sometimes, when difficulties come into our lives, we want to withdraw from people. That's one of the worst things we can do. Yes, it might be painful to talk about the darkness in our lives, but it's important to do so. We need to verbally express what we feel, our fears, our anger. We need safe people to whom we can share our innermost emotions.

In some cases this may involve talking to a professional such as a pastor or counselor. During the mid-1980s I was diagnosed as clinically depressed. That was a very dark time in my life. For a year I saw a pastoral counselor to help me work through the issues that brought about the depression. That year of counseling and medication helped me work through the issues that triggered the depression and gave me a lot of insights into my personality and how to avoid further problems with the depression.

Exercise has been shown to be a big help for people going through a dark period of life. Again, this isn't easy. It's hard to motivate ourselves to do anything when we are struggling with some issue in our life. To commit to an exercise program is challenging. Sometimes if we can find someone with whom to exercise it can be easier to do so. Find something you enjoy doing, something you can stick to, and do it regularly.

It also helps to look beyond the issues that are the cause of this dark time in your life. John Maxwell has said that when there is hope for the future, there is power in the present. That has become one of my favorite encouragements. When you can look beyond the present circumstances and see a better future, it gives you power to deal with the issues confronting you today.

We have to be open to change. It's possible that your life will be different after this darkness lifts, and we have to accept that. We hear a lot today about facing a new normal, and that is what awaits some of us as we come through the darkness. Things are going to be different, and we have to find ways to accept that.

It's very important that we practice good self-care during dark times in our lives. It's not easy to exercise or even eat. We need to do both. We also need to maintain balance in our lives. This is not the time to overload our schedules to stay busy. This often only serves to mask what we are feeling. Build margin into your life so you can handle things more appropriately.

Finally, we need to consider other people. When I went through my period of depression I wasn't much help to my wife or children. There were days I just wasn't there for them like I wanted to be. I'm sure my ministry suffered as well as there were days I just couldn't function like I needed to. It was important for all these reasons that I come through that dark time in my life as quickly as possible.