Why is unemployment so high?

For weeks now Congress has done what they've done best for years...nothing. They are bogged down trying to decide how big of a stimulus package they want to offer the American people. Each side accuses the other of harming the American public by not compromising on their stand. Perhaps due to it being an election year neither party wants to do anything that would not be acceptable to their base voters. In the meantime, it could be said that their grandstanding is hurting the public and small businesses who have been hurt by the pandemic and the restrictions placed upon them.

However, I think another question needs to be raised. Why do we have such high unemployment when so many businesses are trying to hire people? Do we even need additional unemployment benefits? Before you write off these questions are mean spirited, let's look at some facts.

Yes, many businesses have closed their doors for good which caused millions of people to become unemployed. At the same time, I drive past many places every day with signs out front wanting to hire workers. Many of these are industrial jobs paying good salaries and benefits. A few months ago I spoke to the owner of a machining company who had a sign in front of the business seeking machine operators. I asked if he had been able to hire anyone. He responded he had not had a single application turned in since he posted the jobs two years earlier. I asked if it was because people were not qualified for the job, and he responded the company would train anyone willing to work. There are many, many jobs going unfilled while Congress is debating on how much extra money to give people not to work.

Perhaps in high unemployment areas these jobs are not as readily available as they are in my area. I cannot speak to that, but there is nothing stopping people from going to where the jobs are. When the car industry began to take off many people migrated from the rural areas to the larger cities where the jobs were. When the Great Depression hit many moved west looking for work. I can assure you that if I couldn't find a job where I lived I would move to where I could find one, and there is nothing preventing people from doing that today.

Taxpayers should not be expected to pay for people to stay home and earn more than they had been making when they became unemployed when jobs are going unfilled. As a nation we should provide for those who are unable to work. That is the right thing any civilized society should do. At the same time, we should also begin ending unemployment benefits to those unwilling to work. Businesses and companies are hiring. It's time people quit depending on their government check and go to work. 

Why so many meetings?

 A colleague once told me she had never seen anyone who disliked meetings more than me. I explained that it wasn't that I disliked meetings. I dislike meetings that have little to no purpose. I dislike having meetings just because a meeting is scheduled. I dislike meetings that includes a lot of discussion and little action. I've seen meetings address the same issue for months before taking any action that was obvious the first time it was discussed. Too often a meeting is called simply to discuss information that could have been distributed through email or over the phone.

Because of the pandemic a lot of organizations have their meetings over ZOOM or another platform. I am hearing that some of these organizations are wondering if so many online meetings are necessary. They are hearing that their people are getting tired of having ZOOM meetings, especially if they have several scheduled the same day. If these meetings are found to be unnecessary perhaps the organization needs to determine if all of their live meetings are necessary as well.

No doubt, some meetings are important to the well-being of the organization. Such meetings should continue, but some guidelines are in order.

• No meeting should occur without a well-thought out agenda that is distributed prior to the meeting.
• Only those persons necessary to the meeting should be invited.
• All meetings should start on time to honor the commitments of those attending.
• Discussion should be limited to items on the agenda except in extenuating circumstances. Inviting people to a meeting to discuss something and then spending that time chasing rabbits is frustrating to those attending and not a good use of an organization's time.
• Everyone should be encouraged to participate in discussions, but no one should be allowed to dominate.
• Meetings should not be called without first deciding if it is necessary for the good of the organization.
• End the meeting when it has accomplished its purpose.

If leaders follow these guidelines they will find their meetings will be much more productive and people will feel better about attending them.

Why are so many people offended by everything?

 If someone says that something offends them it seems that the whole world has to stop to soothe the person's feelings. University campuses have "safe spaces" to protect the feelings of people who are hurt because someone said something that made them feel bad. Universities used to be places where persons heard opposing viewpoints as a way to help them be able to think for themselves and be prepared for life in the real world. That can't happen if students have to run to some safe space because someone said something that made them feel bad.

Safe spaces naturally led to the cancel culture where speakers are uninvited to speak on campuses because some group objects to their message. The speakers normally canceled are conservative speakers that people fear might say something that would offend the politically correct crowd. Because universities fear that persons protesting the speaker might cause damage or instigate violence they often give in the demands of a small group of people to cancel the speaker.

Of course, it's not only college students who are offended today. It seems everyone is offended by something or someone, and for some reason we seem to have found in the Constitution the right to not be offended.

Do things ever offend me? Of course. There are many things I find in our society that I find objectionable. I don't like the vulgarity that is so often found in public today. I don't like the divisions that exist in our country. I don't like the way Christians and their faith are marginalized by many in our society today. I'm offended that politicians believe we are too stupid to know when they are lying to us, and I'm even more offended that many in the media are willing to help them deceive the American public. There is much on television that I find offensive. I could go on, but I think I've made the point that there are things that offend me. The difference is how I respond to those things.

Just because things on TV offends me I don't demand that all televisions be destroyed or that I am given a safe space to stay until the offending program goes off. There is a knob on the TV that I can control. I can change the channel or leave the TV off completely. If I am offended by people in the news media I simply choose to not watch or listen to them. If I'm in a place where the language is offensive I simply leave. One way I've found to help slow down the divisions that exist in our country is to remember that I don't have to respond to every social media post with which I disagree. I have strong political and religious beliefs, but I don't hate someone who holds different beliefs. I don't try to silence them or prevent them from having an audience. I served in the Navy so that all Americans would have the right to hold the beliefs they have and to voice those beliefs.

When people demand protection from the things that offend them they are really saying that they are unable to control their emotions. Since they are unable to control their emotions they expect other people to eliminate whatever is bringing discomfort into their lives. It is another form of victim mentality. Everyone else is responsible for making them uncomfortable, so everyone else is responsible to stop doing that.

I encourage you to take responsibility for your life. We cannot control what people might say or do, but we can control how we respond. As we listen to people with whom we disagree sometimes we might learn something that will change how we think about certain things, or it can solidify the opinions we already held, and it will always give us insight into how they think and why they believe what they believe. It is when we listen to divergent ideas that we become more mature in our own thinking. Rather than immediately thinking how something offends you, begin to view the differences you encounter as growing opportunities.

Learn to think for yourself

One of the biggest problems facing America today is that not enough people think for themselves. Something is said on social media and too many people accept it as truth. They then share it with their friends and followers, and soon it becomes viral without anyone ever checking to see if it true or not. It then becomes a "truth" simply because so many believe it to be so.

Too many people let the news media think for them as well. A person's favorite news reporter gives a story and people believe that it is true. They don't bother checking the story. They make decisions based on 30-second sound bites that come through their televisions.  Every news story is spun to reflect the bias of the news reporter and/or the ownership of the particular media. This is true whether you watch CNN, MSNBC, Fox, or any of the mainstream media.

Not only do they spin the news to fit their personal biases, they determine which stories you will be allowed to hear. In the 21st century the media doesn't report the news; they make the news. Out of the thousands of things they could report on each day, they select a handful of stories to influence your opinion on matters they consider important. I would encourage anyone to read Breaking The News: How the Media Undermine American Democracy by James Fallows. A the time he wrote this book he was the editor of U. S. News and World Report. As a journalist, he understood how the system worked, and he was convinced today's news reporters do not seek to inform the public as much as they want to influence the public to their point of view. I found the book explained exactly why the public today mistrusts the news media so much. I can tell you that I used to watch a lot of news programs, but today I watch very little, and I question much of what is reported.

Being able to think for yourself is especially important as we continue into this election cycle. We will hear every night from the political pundits who will tell us that one candidate or another is leading in the polls or that one candidate cannot possibly win the election. As they repeat their mantra over and over some people will assume it's true. Don't be so sure. Fallows was especially critical of these political reporters. He said they can be consistently wrong and never held accountable. As an example he pointed to the many political reporters who kept saying that Bill Clinton's campaign was finished and he could not win the election. Of course, he did. The same thing happened in the last election as many of the same pundits who reported the demise of Clinton's campaign kept insisting that Trump could not possibly win the past election. Fallows writes, "For pundits there is no financial or professional penalty for being consistently wrong."

Of course, politics is not the only area in which you need to think for yourself. In many areas of life the majority is often wrong. People go into debt thinking this is the only way they can get the things they want without ever stopping to think that debt will prevent them from financial independence. Just because your broke brother-in-law buys a new car every five years and finances it for seven years doesn't mean that's the smart thing to do.

Many people reject Christianity and biblical teaching without ever studying it themselves. Some professor told them the Bible was full of myths so they go around telling others the Bible is full of myths without ever taking the time to determine if that's true. Someone else tells them there is no God so they believe there is no God without studying the matter for themselves.

I could continue to list other areas in our lives we need to learn to think for ourselves: marriage, the raise we raise our children, career choices, etc. Remember, it's your life. No one else can live it for you nor should you let anyone tell you how to live it or how to think about the things that are most important to a successful life. Learn to think for yourself and you will find your life will become much more rewarding.

Help your child succeed

Parenting is one of the most difficult tasks any parent will face. Most of us want our children to be happy and to grow up to be successful in all their endeavors, but, if we're honest, we aren't always sure what to do to help make that happen. Here are a few suggestions.

Give them time for unstructured play. Many kid's lives are far too structured. They are involved in sports, dance, music classes, and the list goes on. None of these are bad things, but there must be some time for them to just be kids having fun. I played organized baseball growing up, but some of my best times was when we chose up teams at an empty field near our home and just played. No umpires, no parents, nothing but just a bunch of kids playing ball. Kids today need that same unstructured time to just have fun.

Recognize that each child is different. Do not expect each of your children to like the same things or want to do the same things. Some will be more athletic while others are more studious. I have a brother who is very good playing the guitar; I'm lucky to turn on a radio. As a child I took about three piano lessons when the teacher refused to come back. She told my mother that she (the teacher) was wasting her time and my mother was wasting her money. Let your children be who they are and don't try to force them into any mold.

Eliminate performance pressure. Too many parents push their children to live the parent's dreams, and if they don't measure up they can sense their parent's disappointment. When I coached in our Park Department's baseball league I watched another coach, the boys' father, berate the child in the dugout for a mistake he had made until the boy broke out in tears. I don't believe the boy ever played baseball again after that season. Why should he? He could never measure up to the standards his father set for him so why bother?

Give the child chores. I know chores is an old-fashioned word so use whatever word you want. Children need responsibility. Growing up on a farm I had chores that I was expected to do regardless of what else I might want to do. They were not optional. Talk about preparing me for the real world when real employers expect their employees to do their work! Never give a child an allowance. Pay them for doing their chores, and if they fail to complete their assigned duties they don't get paid. Again, a valuable life lesson.

Control TV and social media. This may be the most challenging of anything on the list. It appears that many young people will have their fingerprints wore off their thumbs by the time they are 20 as much time as they spend on their phones, playing games and on social media. Many people would be shocked to learn how some of the most well-known people in the technology world strictly limits the amount of time their children are allowed to use computers and be on social media.

Give them unconditional love. No child should feel they must earn the love of their parents. A child who feels he or she must earn the love of their parents is at risk for making some really bad choices later in life. Even during those times when you must punish bad behavior they should know that you love them and always will love them.

Finally, help them recognize that there is a God who loves them very much. Studies find that children with a strong religious faith make fewer bad decisions that can cause them pain and difficulty. I'm thankful that my parents raised me in church. There came a time in my early twenties when I was not making the best decisions and was paying the price for them. Because of the faith I had found earlier in life I was able to turn things around. I sometimes wonder what would have happened if I had not had that faith to return to.

Some people need to choose a new personality

A woman went shopping with her adult daughter and made the experience miserable for everyone. She was rude to the clerks who waited on them. She complained about everything throughout the day. Their last stop was to a shoe store. After trying on a few shoes she stomped out of the store. Once outside she turned to her daughter and demanded, "Did you see the look that salesperson gave me?" The daughter replied, "Mother, she didn't give you that look. You had it when you went into the store!"

We all know people like the mother. They are hypercritical, easily offended and angry about everything. They seem to go out of their way looking for something that will upset them. Unless they are complaining about something they can't be happy. It's a horrible way to live. If confronted, they will just respond that they are just being themselves. The good news is that it doesn't have to be permanent. We can change some aspects of our personality.

People spend vast sums of money on beauty treatments and plastic surgery to change some aspect of their physical appearance they don't like. No matter how much we change our physical appearance, our personality will still come out and show us for the person we are. A person may strive towards physical perfection, but if they maintain a sour personality they will still not be attractive.

Changing our personalities often means making small chances in our actions. For example, a person who is naturally an introvert is not likely to ever be the toast of the party. However, they can take steps to be more outgoing and engaging. My personality is very much that of an introvert. As I tell people, I can very easily blend into the wall paper at a social event, but I choose to not do that. I go to people and begin a conversation with them. It's not always easy, especially at first, but it's usually worth the effort.

A person who is very controlling can learn to let go and trust others to make good decisions for themselves. They can learn to delegate and trust people to complete their task.

Perhaps one of the hardest personality traits to change is anger. Angry people are those likely to insist that it's just the way they are. They can fly off the handle at the slightest provocation and expect everyone to be OK with that.  Angry people wonder why people avoid them and friends stop coming around. It's because people get tired of walking on eggshells around them afraid something they will say or do will set them off again.

Angry people can learn to control their anger. They can choose to respond better to triggers that previously would cause them to erupt.

The first step in getting a personality makeover is to identify the behaviors you need to change. If you're not sure where to start, ask someone who loves you enough to be honest with you. Once you identify the behavior that needs to change you can begin to think through the steps you need to take to make that change. None of this is going to happen overnight so be patient with yourself.

You may want to bring in some professional help, especially if your behaviors are having a negative impact on your life and/or your career. There's nothing wrong with bringing in a life coach or a counselor to help you work through the process you need to follow to change aspects of your personality. Having someone to hold you accountable will probably make the process go quicker and more smoothly.

No one has to feel trapped with a personality issue that is causing them problems. You can make adjustments to your personality if you choose to do so.

Live life to the fullest

 We only get one shot at this thing called life. Early in life we are asked to make major choices that will impact the remainder of our lives. While in our teens or twenties we often choose the person we will marry, choose a career, select a university to attend or choose to not pursue a college education, decide on having children and make many other choices that will determine what much of our life will look like. The critical choices we are forced to make is why I started this blog and wrote The Consequences of our Choices. I'm still trying to find a publisher or agent for this book, but I feel that the message found in the book is so important that I started this blog to help people make better choices in life.

In America we are free to make almost any choice we want to make, but we are not free to avoid the consequences of those choices, and every choice does have consequences. Some have made very poor choices in the past, and those choices have resulted in bad consequences. Sometimes people didn't realize that there were other choices available to them. In other cases, they were doing what they've been taught or seen other people do in similar situations. Whatever the reason for the bad choice, they are now living with the natural results of the decisions they made.

The good news is that we do not have to live with the wrong choices we made in the past. We can take the initiative to reverse those earlier decisions and set a direction for our lives that will be more positive and lead to better results. I am not suggesting this will be easy, but it can be done. In fact, it is being done every day by people who grew tired of the circumstances they were living in. They decided they wanted better for themselves and their loved ones and took the steps necessary to live that better life.

One example that will relate to a lot of people is in the area of personal finances. Many Americans are caught in a cycle of debt and poverty. Even though they may make good money, it all goes to debt repayment. At the end of the month they are as broke as they were when the month began. For many of us, we work too hard and make too much money to live that way. We can change that cycle by attacking our personal finances in a way that will pay off that debt and set us on the road to financial security. Will it be easy? No. Will there be pain involved in doing this? Yes, but it will be short-lived and that's better than spending our entire lives broke.

We could made the same comments about people caught up in difficult marriages, the challenges we have in raising our children, how we relate to failure, how we react during dark times in our lives, and every other aspect of our lives. Did you choose a career as a young person that you can't stand today? You can make a new choice to move into a different career. Again, it won't be easy, but it can be done.

We've been given one life here on earth to live. Let's do everything we can to make it the most positive, happy life we can. The choice is ours.