Happiness is a choice

A 2017 study reported that only about 33 percent of the people who responded to a survey said they were happy. That means there is a lot of unhappy people out there. What is the cause of so much unhappiness? One psychologist claims that about 50 percent of our unhappiness is controlled by our genetics and our environment. That means that 50 percent of our happiness is under our control. Sonja Lybubromirsky, a research professor, who has studied happiness for over 25 years, has written a book called The How of Happiness: A New Approach to Getting the Life You Want in which she claims that 40 percent of our happiness is within our control. But wait a minute. If part of our unhappiness is due to our environment, that means that some of that is under our control as well. We can take steps to change our environment.

If our unhappiness is due to financial stresses we can do things to improve our finances. If our unhappiness is the result of our work environment, we can change jobs or find ways to make our work less stressful. If marriage issues are the result of our unhappiness we can work to improve our marriage. As you can see, there are many things in our environment that we can make better which means that well over 50 percent of our happiness or unhappiness is within our control. We can choose to be happy.

Besides changing negative things that might be happening in our environment, what are some things we can do to be happier?

• We can change the way we talk to ourselves. As I said in an earlier post, the most important conversation you will have each day is the one you have with yourself. If we speak negative thoughts about ourselves into our minds it's going to be difficult to be happy. It's important to maintain a positive image of ourselves in our minds if we want to be successful in our endeavors, and the way to help promote that positive image is to speak positive words to ourselves.
• It's important to focus on our relationships. Do you spend most of your time with positive people or negative people? If you spend the majority of your time with toxic people that toxicity will begin to affect you. It's real hard to be happy around those who spend most of their time complaining and spreading negativity everywhere they go.
• Find a hobby or activity you enjoy doing. We have to find things we enjoy doing to take us away from the hustle and bustle of life. When I recovered from my clinical depression in the mid-1980s I began to look for things to do that was fun. We took more vacations that we had before. I bought a bass boat, and my wife and I spent time fishing. After selling the boat I bought a motorcycle which we rode on trips. Enjoy life and you can't help but become happier.
• Focus on creating memories, not on accumulating things. We once rode the motorcycle to South Dakota. We went through the Badlands and up to Mt. Rushmore. My wife had always dreamed of seeing Mt. Rushmore, but she certainly never thought it would be from the back of a motorcycle! It was a marvelous trip. We don't have a lot of toys (even the motorcycle is gone now), but that just means the ones we leave behind won't have a lot of stuff to get rid of. But, they will have some great memories we have shared.
• Eliminate anger from your life. We live in a very angry society. It seems everyone is angry with everyone else, and what does that get us? It robs us of the ability to be happy. There are some things for which we should be angry, but much of the anger I see exhibited today does nothing positive.
• Practice forgiveness. This goes along with eliminating anger. Unforgiveness eats away at the one who holds onto it. It normally doesn't impact the person we're refusing to forgive, but it certainly does harm the one refusing to forgive. What has been done in the past cannot be undone. Let it go. That does not mean that we put ourselves in a position where someone who has hurt us can do so again. Forgiveness is letting go of the past and refusing to allow it to hold us captive any longer.

If we take these steps we will find our happiness level will increase. As you can see, everyone of these steps represents a choice you can make which means that you can choose to be happy. I hope you will.